The Sarcastic Gardener
So, you have snails and slugs in the garden? Me too. I decided to get ahead of the problem and think like a snail—but all I could think about was eating my garden and hiding in debris piles. Then I wondered: Are slugs homeless snails? Why do they leave trails of goo? Is that so they can find their way back home in the dark?
OK, that wasn’t working. Let’s talk about things that do. Have you heard of a beer trap? Slugs like beer. Really, they like anything yeasty. I’m not sure what that says about them. Maybe I don’t want to know.
If you put out a shallow plate or a jar lid full of beer, they will come. What happens is the slimy little things head over to the open bar, get a little wasted, fall in and end up drowning. It’s the best way to go. But they aren’t discerning, so feed them the cheap beer and keep the good stuff for yourself.
Don’t want to share your beer? Another option is to create a slug spa. You already offer the salad bar, might as well build the sauna. Just dig a six-inch-deep by four-inch-wide hole near your veggie victims, make sure it is moist and cover with something to make it dark, but be sure to leave a way in. They like dark damp spaces, making it an ideal way to attract them. After a day or two you should find some squatters there during daylight hours and can dispatch them at will.
For those of you with chickens, slugs and snails make them a tasty treat. It’s a pain to collect the li’l buggers, so just let the birds into the garden regularly to gobble up the pests. Watch that poultry, though—they also like to eat the greens. Ducks are better because they won’t eat the vegetables, but you do run the risk of getting some of them trampled. One way to help solve this problem is to fit your chickens with night-vision goggles and a UV light and set them out in the garden at night when the slimies are usually out in public. The birds will be less likely to eat your plants with all the escargot plates available.
Maybe you’ve heard that salt can kill snails/slugs. Maybe you’ve even tried it. Yes, it works great if you sprinkle it on them directly, but you want to keep salt out of the soil. Otherwise they seem to avoid it. Does salt contribute to cholesterol? Maybe it causes water retention? We wouldn’t want bloated slugs.
No chickens and you don’t want to be a slug murderer? It’s fine, don’t feel bad. Simply wait until after midnight, collect as many of the slugs and snails as you can find and relocate them. I would pick a neighbor’s yard that is at least three houses down. If you want to be really kind to the buggies, make sure your neighbor has some sort of veggie garden.
My overall message here is to avoid using poisons that not only kill the slugs/snails but put the rest of the ecosystem at risk. So, just say NO to slug pellets. There are other natural methods available. A quick web search will find other solutions that might be more to your liking.
