Stan and I had both been married before for many years when our spouses passed away within six months of each other. We had never met, which was strange in a town as small as Santa Barbara.

We were eventually introduced by a close mutual friend, Jan Ingram, who was insistent that we meet. She was the Cottage Hospital nurse who happened to be by my side when my husband passed and also with Stan six months prior when his wife passed. One sunny Santa Barbara morning, chaperoned by Jan, we met at Light House Coffee. After several long talks on the phone over the next few days, I was off to a music workshop in Greece, which, ironically, was where Stan had just been for a creativity workshop. We corresponded throughout the summer and upon my return we became inseparabile.

Music, though not our initial connection, soon blossomed into a big part of our relationship as we worked performances into our joint schedule. We named ourselves the Unaccompanied Minors just for fun and it stuck.

Over the next six years, we enjoyed some of the greatest adventures imaginable—traveling to Mexico, France and the island of Corsica numerous times. We navigated the canals of France on a friend’s private barge, and I sang on the Rue De Jazz in Paris. We performed in caves and ancient churches in Corsica. Back home, we purchased a Sprinter van and traversed the U.S. twice and also drove across Canada. We RV’d to Texas for the solar eclipse, playing music and making lifelong friends along the way.

After a three-year engagement we were married in the beautiful Cabrillo Events Center in Santa Barbara, overlooking the blue Pacific. Our intention to keep things small quickly went out the window and we celebrated with 150 friends and family coming from as far away as France, New York, Washington, Colorado and beyond.

Since we are in our 70s and come from the potluck generation, we desperately needed to update our approach. We wisely handed the entire event over to a crew of 30-somethings, most of them my children and their friends.

My daughter Natalie organized and refi ned our scheduling, guest lists and seating charts. Michelle Spina was the wedding planner extraordinaire with ELC Events.

Photography was expertly provided by Via Imagery with Tynan Daniels and Tony Modugno. Video was masterfully done by Open Range Video with Andrew Shoener. These were mostly all school and surfing friends of my 33-year-old son, Austin, who with his friend Lynden also managed the lighting. Our DJ was the amazing Eric Anderson with LeFunk Sound, also a dear friend and surfing buddy of my son.

Flowers were provided by a best friend’s son, Corey Stram, also a 30-something, who transformed the event center into an elegant-yet-vibrant magical palace of color.

My dress, initially a modest sand colored ‘40s style, was eclipsed by the gown I found at Th e Dress. I had a blast dragging the elegant train around for the fi ve-hour event.

We discovered we had the same favorite professor from Antioch, Hymon Johnson, who off ered to officiate.

What started out as a rather reverent gesture that we both wanted became a community event honoring our family and friends who had stood by our sides for the past seven years as we both grieved our losses and then celebrated what we had eventually found in each other, a second chance neither of us could have ever imagined.