We matched on Bumble in 2021. Greg was a widower and I had never been married. Greg had one son and I was unable to have children. Before our first date we spent 20 hours on the phone over the course of a week getting to know each other. We had our first date at Via Maestra on State Street. When he saw me for the first time he said, “You are stunning!” He was wearing a cool leather jacket and aviator sunglasses. I took one look at him and said, “You’re rad.” (I hadn’t used that word in 30 years.)

The day he picked me up for a date marking the three-year anniversary of when we met, he asked if I wanted to stop and look at rings before our dinner. We decided to venture down to a vintage estate jewelry store close to mid State Street. The salesperson immediately slipped a huge diamond ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. I just about fell over: In my 57 years on this planet, I’d never had a ring on that finger, and I never thought such a beautiful ring existed. We left the store with no plan other than to continue looking, as that one was completely out of the question. Four days later, after a business dinner at the Rosewood Miramar, he asked me to walk down to the beach. When we got near Caruso’s, I turned and he was down on one knee proposing with the ring: the 100-year-old antique cut solitaire in a platinum art deco setting.

As far as setting a date, we wanted to wait until Greg’s son, Jack, had finished college and launched into his adult life. Tragically, Jack passed away in January 2024 at the age of 26 of an aortic aneurysm. After his death, we decided that we should move forward with our wedding plans.

We talked about all the traditional ways people honor loved ones at weddings, for example, having a chair during the ceremony that says “In memory of….”

In our case, it felt so right to have some flower LEGOs added into my bouquet and Greg’s boutonniere. Jack was an avid LEGO fan and collector. In addition to the LEGO flowers, we also had a table to honor Jack with his photos and some of his artwork. It sat alongside a memorial to my father, Charles Parrish, who passed away of lung cancer in 2001 at the age of 59.

While looking for a wedding venue, we drove up to Mattei’s Tavern in Los Olivos and knew instantly that this is where we wanted to get married. It was the only place that captured our desire for blending casualness with sophistication. It was perfect in every way. We both love the fall colors so choosing a date in October seemed natural.

We hired the uber-talented local artist Amy Logsdon to do a watercolor of Greg and me standing in front of the Arlington with our “save-the-date” in the marquee. I turned that drawing into a 5- by 5-inch magnet and mailed that to all of our wedding guests.

ADVICE FROM THE BRIDE

Splurge on the things guests will be doing the longest! We opted for the cozy comfy chairs and that was worth the investment. Don’t waste money on things like upgrading water glasses or flatware, no one will remember that. Don’t tell everyone about your dress, make it a surprise. Get the videographer!

For our wedding invitation, Amy drew the front of Mattei’s Tavern with Greg and me standing out front. We incorporated our little dog, Charlie, by putting him on the RSVP card.

I wanted to use only local flowers and produce, nothing shipped or flown in that was not in season in Santa Barbara. I told our florist, Tracey at ella & louie, that Greg’s beautiful property in Goleta had so much to offer—persimmons, walnuts, macadamia, nuts, almonds, apples, tangerines, avocados—and that would be perfect on our tables. I also asked that we use potted plants and flowers whenever possible so they would not be wasted. We planted them in the front yard afterward. In my bouquet, besides the LEGOs for Jack, we added some remnants of my mom’s wedding bouquet from 1963 and a pepper tree branch as a nod to my father.

Because my father wasn’t there, I thought very hard about who I wanted to have walk me down the aisle and there were really only two people who could’ve done it: my nephews Wesley Parrish, 29, and Ryan Parrish, 28, of Boise, Idaho.

We relied heavily on our wedding planner for advice on a florist, photographer and videographer. For the cake, I asked my friend of 40 years, Jill Cox of Santa Clarita, who was formerly the talent behind Jill’s Cake Creations. I found an artist on Etsy to make 3-D clay figurines of our pets, an I had Jill incorporate one of Charlie into the cake. It was so cute and added a bit of whimsy to our special day.

VENDORS

PHOTOGRAPHY
Emily Loeppke

VIDEOGRAPHY
Brian Sikich (B Studios)

FLOWERS
Tracey Morris (ella & louie)

ARTIST
Amy Logsdon, watercolors

CALLIGRAPHY
Letters to Berk Calligraphy

CAKE
Jill Cox, retired (Jillʼs Cakes in Santa Clarita)

MUSIC
Guitarist Quique Hernandez

HAIR
Arleth Sanchez & Fay Doe (Underground Hair Artists)

MAKEUP
Yolanda Rosenthal (Spa Escape)

RENTALS
Theoni

VENUE
Matteiʼs Tavern